Chapter 8
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The Aurochs Ace was swinging slowly at the whim of the waves. Tidus did not know how much time had passed since they had abandoned the rudder. Oppressive clouds were still hiding the moon and the stars.
Lying on the right side, he was daydreaming. On the other side of the table, on the sofa, the white hood of the summoner was gleaming in the dark.
Behind his back, the young man was hearing a regular breathing. He had turned over a few moments earlier: Yuna was lying on the side, a cheek on her folded hands. Her knees pulled up to her chest, she was sleeping. Her face was very close to Tidus' neck.
In the dark, the man had lost all notion of time. None of his friends, despite their conversations, had managed to clear up the unease which, since his return, was tormenting him. But a single moment by Yuna's side had sufficed to dissipate it. He was relishing his happiness.
However, a gloomy feeling was overwhelming him gradually. He was feeling it, like a physical pain, which was tensing all his muscles and weighing on his stomach: culpability.
Yuna moved a little, and Tidus closed his eyes.
“She is watching me.”
After a long moment, the young woman stood up straight and slowly walked over Tidus, in order not to touch him. He heard her, between the bed and the table, pick the clothes she had left on the floor, and dress up again.
The boat was pitching strongly. Tidus opened his eyes and catched Yuna's ones.
“Sorry, did I wake you up? I will be right back soon.”
With a smile, she leaned in and kissed him. Tidus blushed. He decided to abandon his dark thoughts, because nothing justified them. He stood up in his turn and followed the white dress of Yuna in the gangway.
He had climbed the stairs halfway when he heard the noise of a violent collision, just above him.
“Yuna!”
He took the stairs two by two. Yuna was grasping the rudder wheel. Firmly standing on her foot, she was looking at the outside.
“We can't see anything,” she whispered.
“What was that noise? Did you bang your head?”
With an embarrassed smile, she combed a strand of hair over her turned-red forehead.
“That's not funny! You don't have to look content. If you're in pain, you have the right to complain. Whether the pain is physical or moral, don't hesitate over tell me about it. I am here for you.”
“Okay.”
“I came back for this reason.”
“Very well. You know, we won't be able to whistle anymore.”
“Excuse me?”
“To call each other. If we're together all the time...”
“That's right.”
Tidus came closer to Yuna once again. Immediately, the young woman tensed and moved back.
“Forgive me, but we need to talk about something.”
“Ah...”
In order to hide his embarrassment, he stood in front of the window of the external little cabin. The outside was dark. Only the foam was standing out in darkness.
“The elders have been asking about everything that has occurred in the temple... Learning that the Great Maester Mika was an unsent; that he didn't want the happiness of Spira, but only to ensure the continuity of his cult... That Yevon’s teachings to defeat Sin were in fact a way to bring him back to life...”
“Yes?”
“I've remained silent for a long time. I've not explained to them concretely my role in those events. I've not said how I'd defeated Sin for good, how I'd understood that Yevon’s teachings were just a pack of lies, and that the Church had become a parasite for our world. I've not often mentioned these subjects. Not with most of people, in any case.”
“It would be quite the shock for the faithful.”
“Yes, some people may be mad with me, or even hate me.”
“I see.”
“Because of this, after the death of the Great Maester and the appearance of the Movement of the Truth, Yevon clergy has formed Neo-Yevon, with Baralai... Oh, that's right, you don't know who Baralai is...”
“Rikku and the others have told me about him. He's very close to Nooj and Gippal, right?”
“That's right, where was I?”
“But what are you trying to say?” Tidus asked, overcome by impatience.
“I've kept most of these events quiet because I was worried. But the grandmothers wanted to know everything. They've begged, cried, they've accused me of egotism. Remaining silent for fear of what others would think, this is vanity. They've said that if I explained it to them, they would understand. And that otherwise, they wouldn't hold a grudge against me, so...”
“So? Tell them! Tell them about this old crook called Mika who was keeping the machina only for himself. Tell them what this bastard called Seymour did at that time...”
“I've told them. It has taken some time, but I've told them everything.”
“And then?”
“They've listened to me without interruption.”
“All the better!”
He didn't understand where this conversation was leading them.
“No, that's not good.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just after, they've asked me: "Now, to whom will we be able to trust in order to guide us in our life?"”
“They can decide by themselves.”
.
“They've asked me if they must forget Yevon’s teachings.”
“Of course: this was a swindle.”
Yuna lowered her eyes and shook her head.
“What?”
“I've followed Yevon’s teachings too. Admittedly, it contains despicable lies, but the rest is not bad. After all, I've led a happy life, and I've met you.
“Yuna!”
She is surely not going to tell him this was a gift of Yevon, right?
“What’s the problem with the grandmothers believing in them? It's their own choice.”
She was using Tidus' words against him. It was irritating him.
“You may be right,” he conceded.
“So I must go back by tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?”
“I promised to join them in order to find a new prayer text.”
“Why do they need you?”
“It's my fault if they've lost their faith.”
“Don't you think you've done enough for them?”
“That's not a reason to cross my arms and wait.”
“Yuna…”
Tidus looked at the buckle which was hanging on the ear of the young woman. It was blue, with a pompom. Yuna didn't wear it in the cabin. When did she take the time to put it on again? Since Tidus had met her, she had always worn it, but the colour had not faded.
“Yes?” she called him again.
“I am the only one who has changed,” he thought.
“No, nothing,” he answered loudly. “I understand. Let's hurry to return to the village. We just need to find the right direction.”
“I'm sorry.”
Suddenly, he felt guilty to have manipulated her in such a way that she felt obligated to apologize. If he was in such a bad mood, it was not because of what she had said, but because she had refused a kiss.
“It's all my fault,” he replied before turning his back on her in order to hide his unease.
“I noticed, a bit earlier, that we weren't very good at apologizing to each other,” Yuna said with a clear voice. “During several weeks, we've travelled around Spira, climbed Mt. Gagazet, fought Sin and Yu Yevon... And then, during more than two years, we've been separate. No letter, no news. But during this time, my feelings have reinforced. And this morning, I met you again. Now, I know who you are and who I am. I know we can make an effort to understand each other. Hey, are you listening to me?”
“Yes, of course.”
“When I met you, I was seventeen years old, and I've fallen madly in love with you. And now that we're together again...”
She was swinging; her cheeks turn red under the influence of the emotion.
“From now on, she continued, we'll have to face everyday life. Above all, don't be mistaken on my intentions, I still love you and I don't want to leave you anymore.”
“Ah…”
"'Ah...' ?”
“I love you too.”
“What a relief!”
Yuna was going to say something else, but she gave up on it. She turned over and started to use the console sticks, near the rudder. For a few seconds, we could only hear the noise of the buttons she was pushing.
“We may have a problem,” she ended up saying... “I can't use the radar. We can't establish our position.”
Just after, they discovered the radio also did not work anymore.