Author Topic: Original Novel Translated vs. Fan Restoration Project: Thoughts & Introspections  (Read 1330 times)

Danko Kaji

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Re: Original Novel Translated vs. Fan-written Restoration
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2015, 04:28:46 pm »
You know, as much as I thoroughly enjoyed the Aurochs' scene of work and play, the moment Bria enters, I'm slogging through very stilted and awkward writing. It's such a pain to type, because my inner stylist wants to break everything and restructure it entirely. Sigh.

...This thread might end up just becoming my place for vent posts. I apologize in advance XD
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but they become easy with friends beside you."

Consider me a wandering 'Maechen' of FFX/X-2 lore.

Danko Kaji

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Re: Original Novel Translated vs. Fan-written Restoration
« Reply #16 on: September 07, 2015, 02:36:05 am »
In concern to Kush and her habit of 'vous,' what would be more appropriate?

Giving her a French accent and retaining that pronoun, or replace vous as 'my lord/lady' (and any other appropriate title)?

And as for the names Valm, Bria, Johit, Alb, and Ifahnal, should we retain them as thus (I do prefer them this way) or as how the FF Wiki prefers? Velm, Briar, Joit, Arb, and Ifarnal respectively?
Lost in the winds of change~

"There's some things you can't do alone,
but they become easy with friends beside you."

Consider me a wandering 'Maechen' of FFX/X-2 lore.

Danko Kaji

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Re: Original Novel Translated vs. Fan-written Restoration
« Reply #17 on: September 08, 2015, 10:54:51 pm »
So, I noticed something odd while going about my rewrite through Chapter 2:

Quote
“I saw you coming.”
“Excuse me?”
Not really sure if he understood, Tidus turned in the direction of the ocean. The ball fell in the sand.
“At midday. We heard of Yuna’s return thanks to the radio, and I followed the villagers. I saw you emerging from the ocean. How did you reach this place?”

Now I see this in Chapter 4:

Rikku was keeping a close watch on the radar.
“A huge depression is approaching Besaid on the south,” she announced. “It is going to blow hard.”
“We must inform them of this.”
“The radio does not work,” Shinra answered, detached.
Brother yelled, but the pilot contented himself with a shrug.   
“It’s working less and less, and not only with Besaid.”
“Why?”
“I do not know, I am just a kid you know.”

The dialogue above seems to heavily imply that the radio is in fact the Commsphere. I don't know why Nojima couldn't just simply call it that, unless he wrote radio as a lazy oversight (like how he ignored referencing Vilucha as an official member of the Aurochs). At a later point, I'll change radio to Commsphere for the sake of consistency.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2015, 10:56:35 pm by Danko Kaji »
Lost in the winds of change~

"There's some things you can't do alone,
but they become easy with friends beside you."

Consider me a wandering 'Maechen' of FFX/X-2 lore.

ChercheurObscur

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In concern to Kush and her habit of 'vous,' what would be more appropriate?

Giving her a French accent and retaining that pronoun, or replace vous as 'my lord/lady' (and any other appropriate title)?

And as for the names Valm, Bria, Johit, Alb, and Ifahnal, should we retain them as thus (I do prefer them this way) or as how the FF Wiki prefers? Velm, Briar, Joit, Arb, and Ifarnal respectively?

Well, the pronoun 'vous' is often used in the novel, but I decided to use it only for Kush since she has a special behavior. Furthermore, there's a line in the novel where Bria remembers that special behavior - the use of the polite 'vous' - so... And you MUST ban 'my lord/lady' when it comes to Kush, that wouldn't fit at all ! :P

As for the names, I think those from the FF Wiki come from the japanese version ? But since I'm not sure, I think it's better to use those from the french translation :)

« Last Edit: September 09, 2015, 02:02:33 pm by ChercheurObscur »

Danko Kaji

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In concern to Kush and her habit of 'vous,' what would be more appropriate?

Giving her a French accent and retaining that pronoun, or replace vous as 'my lord/lady' (and any other appropriate title)?

And as for the names Valm, Bria, Johit, Alb, and Ifahnal, should we retain them as thus (I do prefer them this way) or as how the FF Wiki prefers? Velm, Briar, Joit, Arb, and Ifarnal respectively?

Well, the pronoun 'vous' is often used in the novel, but I decided to use it only for Kush since she has a special behavior. Furthermore, there's a line in the novel where Bria remembers that special behavior - the use of the polite 'vous' - so... And you MUST ban 'my lord/lady' when it comes to Kush, that wouldn't fit at all! :P

As for the names, I think those from the FF Wiki come from the japanese version ? But since I'm not sure, I think it's better to use those from the french translation :)

Aw, geez, I keep forgetting the French language does not pronounce every single letter in a word. The 's' is silent! I've been saying 'vous' wrong in my head this whole time. I'm such a dummy. XD I do remember reading that wonderful little detail as well; in that case, I suppose I'll retain Kush's polite vous and give her a French accent. There are many NPCs with ambiguous, foreign accents in the FFX universe. :P (On the other hand, having Kush call Valm 'my lord' in a childish, cute, whimsical tone is so adorasjhdfgjh. I don't know what to do! XD Am I the only one getting super playful and flirtatious vibes from her? Her dialogue evokes the most imagination as I write, more than any other character.)

Alrighty, then. The names from French translation shall stay!
« Last Edit: September 09, 2015, 03:11:36 pm by Danko Kaji »
Lost in the winds of change~

"There's some things you can't do alone,
but they become easy with friends beside you."

Consider me a wandering 'Maechen' of FFX/X-2 lore.

Danko Kaji

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Even though I know several of these threads are dead and fading away, I at least want to leave my retrospective thoughts behind...

So! Going through this novel, I honestly enjoy the interlude (Bria and Kush centric) chapters the most; I virtually fly through those! But once I return to Tidus's POV, it's like I'm trudging through the marsh of terrible writing while dredging up what's salvageable. I mean, it's not that the present story is uninteresting to me at all, because it really is! It's just... the writing style does not fit Tidus's voice. At all. If the entire novel was written in Bria's POV, alright, I wouldn't mind it, but not when Nojima retains the same style for every different POV. It's frustrating as a writer; sometimes it makes me wanna pull my hair out!

I plan to, once I'm done with rewriting the entire thing once, to rewrite it again but with a style or melancholy buoyancy that matches Tidus. I hope I'll have some willing, enthusiastic critics when I'm done and perhaps we can edit it together! :D

(Honestly, though, who would care to read or even want to read a restoration? Anyone? I need some moral support here. XD)
Lost in the winds of change~

"There's some things you can't do alone,
but they become easy with friends beside you."

Consider me a wandering 'Maechen' of FFX/X-2 lore.